[It's so hard to restrain from feeding into those emotions-- because it's just another big highlight of a failure of his very life's purpose. His own failure to be able to provide support or advice or protection or-- anything. Before, during, or after the fact.
And he's trying very, very hard to ignore the terrifying thought that... maybe Noct wants it that way. Maybe, momentarily freed from Eos, his bloodlines, and the expectations of being a part of the monarchy, he just wants to veer on his own. Alone.]
Prompto contacted me about an 'emergency' but failed to give any details or location until it was already over. I'm aware you and the Chancellor fought, you were injured, and that both yourself and Prompto have been avoiding coming home since then.
I'm also aware that Ardyn pre-empted us in regards to what had transpired on Eos.
Well knowing you that's probably enough to put it all together. I just needed you to why
[ Why what? ]
Why I stayed somewhere else and why I didn't say anything. Ik it's not how I should behave, I get that. It's not gonna happen again. [ But in that moment he hadn't been someone burdened with royal expectations or someone composed in the way a king should be, he was a deeply wounded young man. Exactly what all of them have been over the past two months or so, back home. ]
[There's a good long pause as he tries to decide how to respond to this. Because he was worried more, and it's not about how Noct should or shouldn't behave as a monarch, but as a friend, and---
And expressing any of that would just make Noctis feel even worse. So he won't.]
If you need space, in the future, then please tell me. I know I can be overbearing at times, but I'll do my best to respect it.
[Because if he doesn't, it will just push Noctis away more.]
I suppose you've had quite some time here to build a support network. I'll try to keep that in mind in the future.
[ Keeping it framed within the parameters of his royal expectations is easier, he suspects, for both of them. It always has been when words have been too difficult, even if in the past Ignis had been there for him so many times when Regis hadn't. How often had he run to him when he was hurting, sad, or just gripped by how limited he'd felt, confined within the Citadel walls as a child? How many times had he opened his mouth to speak but cut himself off, even then, just for Ignis to silently take his hand and guide him away towards some kind of activity to distract him without outright saying he was offering the comfort that he was? It was Ignis that had unquestioningly gotten him out of so many scrapes without requiring an explanation, Ignis who'd see a defaced painting or a scribbled in astronomy book and think about how best they would be able to hide this one.
He'd always resented being royalty so much more in those moments. He wanted to be nothing more than his friend, without having to think about a sense of obligation. ]
Okay
It wasn't like that, this was a special case. You get that, right? I want you around.
I do. The past few weeks have just been exceptionally difficult for you, especially in regards to anything from home.
[It had been hard enough to learn about it all himself- imagining the pain Noct would feel when faced with Lunafreya's death, let alone the rest of the information. And it have it so abruptly shoved at him--]
If I may ask: What were you trying to accomplish, speaking with Ardyn? While in our time, he's never outright antagonized us, aside from stealing the Regalia, but he's never been particularly trustworthy or forthright.
It's more than that, knowing you guys knew more than I did made me not wanna stick around there while I figured stuff out. That would've been harder.
[ Was there a rational explanation for why it hadn't been shared earlier? Yes. Had Ignis even known long at all? No. But Noctis hadn't known that either, even if he does now, and he'd been acting under emotion. ]
That's gonna be easier to explain after we all talk a little. Idk if it'll make as much sense before that.
[Another long pause. Because it doesn't make sense to him- Knowing that the people you care about and trust may have had information and not seeking it out, instead hiding away from both support and information to wrestle with facts he likely had no context for.
But then again, emotions aren't reasonable things.]
I learned only shortly before yourself. My intention had been to speak with you and Prompto about it, but then there was the message in regards to more arrivals.
[It's true, at least. And he doesn't have much more information himself- only what Aranea was able to confirm and add on.]
But I understand if your feelings didn't care what the facts were, or else you would have sought them out.
I mean it doesn't matter what the details were. It does, but it doesn't. I trust you guys, so w/e the reasons were and w/e the circumstances were, you guys would've always been doing what you thought was best for me and the group, right? You don't have to explain.
[ It's far wordier than he's wont to be, but a hard-earned lesson is one he wants to reiterate. They've had tests in the past -- big ones, recently -- but her death hit so damn hard. It still is; all he can hear in his head is Ardyn's almost cheerful tone and the way he'd relished in delivering the news. ]
I'm gonna see if Prompto's free after his shift tomorrow if that's cool.
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no subject
[It's so hard to restrain from feeding into those emotions-- because it's just another big highlight of a failure of his very life's purpose. His own failure to be able to provide support or advice or protection or-- anything. Before, during, or after the fact.
And he's trying very, very hard to ignore the terrifying thought that... maybe Noct wants it that way. Maybe, momentarily freed from Eos, his bloodlines, and the expectations of being a part of the monarchy, he just wants to veer on his own. Alone.]
Prompto contacted me about an 'emergency' but failed to give any details or location until it was already over. I'm aware you and the Chancellor fought, you were injured, and that both yourself and Prompto have been avoiding coming home since then.
I'm also aware that Ardyn pre-empted us in regards to what had transpired on Eos.
no subject
Well knowing you that's probably enough to put it all together. I just needed you to why
[ Why what? ]
Why I stayed somewhere else and why I didn't say anything. Ik it's not how I should behave, I get that. It's not gonna happen again. [ But in that moment he hadn't been someone burdened with royal expectations or someone composed in the way a king should be, he was a deeply wounded young man. Exactly what all of them have been over the past two months or so, back home. ]
I didn't mean to worry you more, Ignis.
no subject
And expressing any of that would just make Noctis feel even worse. So he won't.]
If you need space, in the future, then please tell me. I know I can be overbearing at times, but I'll do my best to respect it.
[Because if he doesn't, it will just push Noctis away more.]
I suppose you've had quite some time here to build a support network. I'll try to keep that in mind in the future.
no subject
He'd always resented being royalty so much more in those moments. He wanted to be nothing more than his friend, without having to think about a sense of obligation. ]
Okay
It wasn't like that, this was a special case. You get that, right? I want you around.
no subject
[It had been hard enough to learn about it all himself- imagining the pain Noct would feel when faced with Lunafreya's death, let alone the rest of the information. And it have it so abruptly shoved at him--]
If I may ask:
What were you trying to accomplish, speaking with Ardyn? While in our time, he's never outright antagonized us, aside from stealing the Regalia, but he's never been particularly trustworthy or forthright.
no subject
[ Was there a rational explanation for why it hadn't been shared earlier? Yes. Had Ignis even known long at all? No. But Noctis hadn't known that either, even if he does now, and he'd been acting under emotion. ]
That's gonna be easier to explain after we all talk a little. Idk if it'll make as much sense before that.
no subject
But then again, emotions aren't reasonable things.]
I learned only shortly before yourself. My intention had been to speak with you and Prompto about it, but then there was the message in regards to more arrivals.
[It's true, at least. And he doesn't have much more information himself- only what Aranea was able to confirm and add on.]
But I understand if your feelings didn't care what the facts were, or else you would have sought them out.
Very well. I'll wait until you're ready.
no subject
I mean it doesn't matter what the details were. It does, but it doesn't. I trust you guys, so w/e the reasons were and w/e the circumstances were, you guys would've always been doing what you thought was best for me and the group, right? You don't have to explain.
[ It's far wordier than he's wont to be, but a hard-earned lesson is one he wants to reiterate. They've had tests in the past -- big ones, recently -- but her death hit so damn hard. It still is; all he can hear in his head is Ardyn's almost cheerful tone and the way he'd relished in delivering the news. ]
I'm gonna see if Prompto's free after his shift tomorrow if that's cool.
no subject
[It still doesn't feel settled-- but he'll respect it. There's no need to explain everything, especially if things are in the process of healing now.]
Of course. I'll be available any time you need.